Customer Care in 2020….
Operator: Hello Pizza Hut!
Customer: Hello, can you please take my order?
… Operator : Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?
Customer: Yeah! Hold on….. My number is 889861356102049998-45-54610
Operator : OK… you’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. You are calling from you home number now.
Customer: (Astronished) How did you get all my phone numbers?
Operator : We are connected to the system, Sir.
Customer: May I order your Seafood Pizza…
Operator : That’s not a good idea Sir.
Customer: How come?
Operator : According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, sir.
Customer: What?… What do you recommend then?
Operator : Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You’ll like it.
Customer: How do you know for sure?
Operator : You borrowed a book entitled ‘Popular Hokkien Dishes’ from the National Library last week, sir.
Customer: OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then.
Operator : That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs. 2,450.
Customer: Can I pay by! credit card?
Operator : I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank $1,51,758 since October last year. That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir.
Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.
Operator : You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve even your overdraft limit.
Customer: Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?
Operator : About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.
Operator : According to the details in system ,you own a motorcycle registration number 1123.
Customer: ” ????” (hmmm.. these guys know my motorcyle number too!)
Operator : Is there anything else, sir?
Customer: Nothing.! .. by the way… aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?
Operator : We normally would sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic… In the best interest of your health, we are holding this offer for you.
Customer: (now pissed) ***%&$%%### You $##$%%@!)))
Operator: Better watch your language sir. Remember on 15th July 2007 you were imprisoned for 2 months and fined Rs.5,000 for using abusive language against a policeman…?